I’m not trying to be controversial.
I’m not looking to pick fights or start a debate.
My aim isn’t to be counter-cultural, but to create culture through community. I don’t want my bookstafam to grow because we have a common enemy but because we have similar hearts, “kindred spirits” as Anne famously called it.
I’ve always believed that it is my responsibility to set the tone for every post. If my words are aggressive, I invite that same energy in my comments. If my post is an attack, it welcomes my readers to join the assault or defend themselves. And I never want the comment sections of my posts to become a warzone.
Instead, I want to cultivate a space where hearts can be shared and there grow in grace for others, find fellowship, and have the courage to explore new perspectives.
Conversations open the door wider for Compassion, Community, & Change.
Setting the tone doesn’t happen by accident. It starts in the heart but takes intentionality to execute.
Here’s how I stand my ground without picking a fight:
1. Resolve over rebuke.
Rather than telling other people what they should do and believe, I focus on simply sharing my heart. ("Here's what I will do" not "here's what you should do”.)
Using “I” statements invites others to reflect on their own resolutions and find common ground between us.
2. Proactive over reactive.
If I read something somewhere else that I disagree with, the temptation to fire off a response comes easily. But instead of typing up a rant, I shelve the idea until I’ve forgotten what triggered it. Then, if I still feel like I want to share my thoughts on the topic, I can address it with a clear mind and pure heart.
3. Discernment over debate.
There will always be people who see every statement as a shot fired. The mere existence of an opposing opinion makes them feel attacked, perhaps because it’s convicting and uncomfortable, it “puts a pebble in their shoe” (as my mom always says).
Ultimately, it is up to Jesus to convict hearts and change minds. So I don’t engage with every critical comment that pops up. Instead, I let it sit and ask Jesus if this is an opportunity for conversation or a distraction from the enemy. Should I respond and what should I say? He is faithful to give me discernment into what is worth my time and what to leave to Him.