What hurts more: A mean comment or when someone unfollows you?
Both can come with their own unique sting. One is an aggressive attack; the other is silent withdrawal of support.
I am so thankful for Instagram, because it has allowed me to connect with my readers, build friendships around the world, & find community with my fellow Jesus-loving book girlies.
But it doesn’t always feel that way.
Sometimes, social media causes chaos, breaks relationships, & isolates you. And it can all happen with one troll comment, or when the follower count has gone down.
Regardless of all the other good things, you get “One Guy-ed”, & suddenly that negativity casts a shadow over everything else.
It may be a random troll who is trying to ruin your day, or it may be someone who is genuinely offended.
So what can you do? (besides rant and cry to your bestie)
Here are the 2 mindsets that have helped me process & move past these slights:
1: I can have compassion for things unseen.
Each person has a unique
Background
Family
Past Trauma
Current Mental State
History with Mental Illness
Current Struggles/Stress
Likes & Dislikes
Content Sensitivities
Career
Religious Background
Romantic History
Living Situation
Things where there isn’t necessarily right & wrong;
Things that are out of their control;
Things that impact the way they think & act, including on social media.
There are a million reasons why they may have been triggered to react negatively, but in the end, it really isn’t about you at all.
Learning to have compassion for things unseen helps to soften the blow.
2: I am not one size fits all.
My goal on bookstagram is to build a community founded on a love of stories and grounded in grace-infused authenticity, where my fellow book girlies can find faith-filled encouragement, the best bookish recommendations, insights for creating with excellence, & inspiration to invite Jesus into every aspect of your life.
Not everyone is going to fit in that category. Not everyone will agree with my opinions. Not everyone will like my books. Not everyone is going to smile when I pop up on their feed.
If that means they unfollow me in direct response to something I say, it just means they aren’t my people.
If a troll comments something mean, I can block them without hesitation, because I want to keep my space safe and uplifting.
My in-laws call it a “blessed deduction”.
Instead of fretting, I can truly “shake it off”, because that means I don’t have to focus on someone who doesn’t get me & I can give my energy to people who speak my language and share my heart.
I can find joy in being Cinderella’s slipper for the right reader, & peace about not “fitting on other feet”.